Tag: forgiveness

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Forgiveness

Forgiveness

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone, forgive as the Lord forgave you.” -Colossians 3:13

Why is forgiveness so important? Why should I forgive them for what they did to me if they don’t seem to care? Do I really have to? Do these questions sound familiar? Today we are going to talk about why it is so important to forgive in all circumstances.

We all sin and fall short of the Glory of God “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23). Here’s the thing none of us are perfect but we are all forgiven through Jesus! So let me ask you this why is it so hard for us to forgive someone when they do us wrong, or cause us hurt? We are called to be like Jesus, loving and forgiving as He has. When he was on the cross, he asked for forgiveness for the ones who were hurting him “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34). Can we just pause and take a minute of amazement at this one verse…. He was being stabbed, spit on, and nailed but yet still went to God in prayer asking for forgiveness over them!

That just simply leaves me speechless every time. I know forgiveness is not always the easiest thing because you can forgive someone but still remember what happened but that’s the thing, the devil will keep putting it back in your head to make you feel those emotions all over again. The key is to keep forgiving it/them every time it comes back up in your head! Keep choosing forgiveness no matter how many times or how long it takes.

Now just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you still have to be around them, or be their friend. You can forgive someone and set boundaries and love them from a distance. Forgiveness is so important because in order for us to be forgiven we also have to forgive! “And Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors… For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:12, 14-15).

Forgiveness will also help you heal, it will change you as a person! When you forgive you are choosing to grow, you grow into a better person, a better version of yourself, and you grow your relationship with Christ. When you choose not to forgive you are choosing to hold that grudge in your heart until eventually you take it out on someone else who didn’t even cause it and you hinder your spiritual growth. Forgiveness will stop those built up emotions from forming inside.

I personally know it’s not easy, I’ve been lied to, cheated on, taken for granted, taken advantage of etc…. but the moment I chose to forgive I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders like God saying “okay I’ve got it now you don’t have to hold on to it anymore”. Forgiveness frees you from those chains that are trying to hold you down and guess what? God is a chain breaker!

Challenge:

The next time you get hurt in a situation, choose to forgive instead of holding a grudge, choose to grow into a better version of yourself, chose to grow into the Godly version of yourself the one who wants to be more like Jesus. Don’t hinder your growth by holding grudges!

Categories
Friendship

Where To Draw The Line

1 Thessalonians 5:11 — The New International Version (NIV) Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Hey, Allison here. I’m going to dig into my past again this time discussing friendship and where to draw the line. This happened when I was in high school and as you know drama tends to exist in high school. A lot. For me the person I was friends with created the drama so when it followed her around it followed me to. If you’re like me you don’t want any part of the drama.

When starting high school I didn’t have a huge slew of friends. My best friend went to another school and I had to find new or old friends. The one that had drama follow her around was a friend I had known since preschool. We fell out of touch over the years and high school reconnected us. It was like we had been good friends this entire time and no space was ever between us.

Junior year is when she and I were very close. This was the first year we got to attend prom because no juniors or seniors had asked us the previous years. We were both excited. We will call my friend T. T was dating a guy who was a senior at the time and wanted to set me up with his best friend who we will call A. I wasn’t 100% sure I liked A or that I wanted to be set up. It of course didn’t work out like I had thought and soon T and her boyfriend broke up. The next week I had found out T cheated on her boyfriend with A and now T was going to prom with A too! What happened next was even crazier. T blocked me on social media and I didn’t do anything at least not that I was aware of. Now T and I were not friends. Fast forward to prom T and I saw each other and were civil to one another. We didn’t talk much and it was as if we hardly knew each other. I was hurt by her actions.

Summer came and T reached out to me to apologize. We reconnected for a little bit and then T blocked me again. I didn’t understand why she was acting this way. We had been good friends and grew up going to school together. Why did she not want to be my friend anymore? T did this a few more times and I kept saying yes. I wanted to be her friend. I thought there is no way she would do this to me again, right? Wrong. The last time I said yes to being friends with T was right before the start of senior year. We agreed to be friends and have no drama between us. Everything went fine up until December. It was two weeks before Christmas break and if you read my blog about Christian dating you probably remember the part where a guy ghosted me. Well the guy ghosted me and T stopped being my friend on the same day. Crazy enough I remember the exact date. Tuesday, December 10, 2019. T, the guy, and me all shared the same first period. T didn’t talk to me nor did the guy and T had blocked me again. I was lost and upset.

I had other friends that stuck by my side that week, but the following week they were gone too. The guy that ghosted me and another friend of mine chose T. I didn’t know that people would pick sides when I wasn’t in the wrong. To this day I don’t really know or understand what happened but I think someone must’ve stuck a dirty shoe in their mouth. One of my teachers noticed T and I weren’t speaking one day because we sat next to each other. That teacher had me and T called up to the principals office. I was not happy because out of all the years I had been in school I had never been to the principals office. Our school was big and we had assigned principals by last name. T had a different one than me. When my principal asked what was going on I told her the truth. T was being toxic. My principal had T moved away from me in that specific class and things went back to normal. Other friends backed me up and I became okay. After all I was graduating early and did on January 21, 2020. I left the drama behind me.

Jesus wants you to love everyone and forgive. I know that is hard, but if our Lord can do it then you can too. Sometimes we have to draw the line and say no. I always wonder if I would have said no sooner would it have saved me from the pain and heartache I went through? I wouldn’t change what happened even if I had a time machine because what happened was God’s plan. The things I went through made me a stronger person. If someone is being toxic in your life whether it be a friend, a boyfriend, or a family member it is okay to love them from a distance. They do deserve your forgiveness too. Everyone makes mistakes because we are human. Love your friends and encourage them. Don’t degrade them. As the saying goes treat others how you would want to be treated and most importantly be more like Jesus.